I enter the courtyard;
there are others here,
huddled over earthenware pots
and makeshift chimneys.
The night is warm,
the air damp with the scent
of wood smoke
and the echo of a thousand prayers.
I take the bowl I carry with me,
a bowl from which my brother
ate his meals,
and place it on the ground.
In this bowl I arrange
a handful of wooden matchsticks
just so,
leaving one to light the fire.
At last, I sit.
The flames turn blond wood to brown.
I take the first wad of paper
from my pocket,
rice paper
coarse to the touch,
except where there is smooth foil
in the shape of gold bars.
I speak to the higher gods,
I tell them my brother’s name,
I place the wad of paper
loosely on the fire.
My brother gambled with his life
and lost,
he left a wife and children,
an unpaid debt.
He also left an emptiness
in the hearts of those who loved him,
a vacuum in the spaces
he once occupied.
It is now upon me to save him,
to get him the money he needs
to get by on the other side,
may he use it wisely.
When the first wad burns away
I place another then another,
until my pockets are empty
and only embers remain.
I thank the higher gods,
tip the ashes onto the ground,
then stamp them cold
with the sole of my shoe.
Perhaps my brother
will buy his family
a little luck,
a streak of good fortune.
I leave the courtyard,
but I’ll be back next month
and the month after,
and the month after that.
For mine is a debt
that cannot be repaid as easily
in this lifetime,
or even the next.
My brother and I fought,
until separate paths gave us
the excuse we needed
not to speak.
I gambled my brother and I
would one day be close.
I lost,
and the distance has never been so great.
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